At the corner of Falls Road and Morling stands Dmitri's, a Hampden landmark. Its clientele is fairly select–given that happy hour starts at 9 AM. A look in the door during daylight hours reveals old veteran bourbon drinkers and middle-aged mullets getting their lunchtime buzz on before putting in their 8 at the bottling plant, making their daily calls required by the Department of Labor, or checking in with the parole officer. It's a family setting, for when you want to go where everybody knows your name…and how many teeth you're missing. And it's just blocks away from my house, if you need a porch to collapse on after your liver gives out.

The door on Dmitri's features a portrait of the Falls Road goodwill ambassador himself, hanging from a street sign in an effort to triangulate his location and greet any oncoming traffic with his customary style and flair.