My love affair with Baltimore, 12 years old, is coming to an end.

I blame this on my children.

Long before yesterday's encounter with a pair of rats trapped in my trash can (and folks, they're still there, but I don't think they're hopping any more [UPDATE–no, they still are, see above), the charm of Charm city had started to wear away. I am still much aware of all this town has to offer. But I am also the parent of a toddler, a fourth grader, and a budding teenager. And city life, for them, is a prison.

The local playground, across from the Fraternal Order of Police lodge, is a pit. My older kids don't mix with most of the locals (my toddler has the most active social life for the moment). And nearly all of our neighborhood friends (with their toddlers in tow) are moving out of town.

Part of my dissatisfaction is, really, not Baltimore's fault. It's hard for the city to stand up against the other contender for my affections–my parent's home, Plattsburgh, New York. We just spent a week there visiting, but my wife and I have been privately fantasizing about moving up there for the past two years.

This is more than a fresh-air thing. Plattsburgh, 15 miles from the Quebec border, on Lake Champlain, 65 miles from Montreal, a chip-shot over the lake from Burlington, VT, is a booming small city. The housing is affordable, the electricity (for the moment, thanks to a contract with a Quebec hydroelectric company) is cheap, and Internet bandwidth is plentiful. Better schools. Fresh air. Low crime. Freedom for kids to roam and associate with other kids freely (without fear of getting stabbed or kidnapped). Grandparents nearby. Four real seasons (albeit a pretty nasty winter).

Now, we're serious enough about it that we've started lobbying my ex-wife on the subject–because the kids have lit a fire under us to do something. If we want to make the move, we either have to come to some sort of arrangement with her over custody, or bring her along.

Fortunately, we (my wife and I) have a good relationship with my ex. We have to; we're co-parenting. But it goes beyond that; despite rough spots, I think my ex and I get along better in our current status quo than we did when we were married. Welcome to the new millenium.

She seems initially receptive to the move, because she understands the benefit to the kids. There are a few hurdles to clear, to put it mildly. But as relentless as the kids are about this, I may be moving my ex-wife to Plattsburgh.

[Update 7/23: she decided against it. No big surprise—only the insane do the same thing over and over and expect different results, and she's living proof of that. But that's fodder for a future post.]

Even if she decides against the move,In any case my wife and I have decided we're getting out of Baltimore by the end of the next school year–if not out of Maryland, than somewhere on its green fringes. The reason is simple–I'd need to make 3 times as much money as I do now for us to have anything resembling the lifestyle we want for our kids–a backyard free of rats, open spaces, good public schools–in the Baltimore area.