Phone rings.

Me, answering :   “Sean Gallagher.”

Telemarkechick :   “Hello, may I speak to Sean Gallagher please?”

Me :   “Ahem.  Speaking.”

Telemarkechick :   “Mr. Gallagher, this is [name excised]
calling for CRN and VarBusiness.  Your free subscriptions to these
weekly magazines are about to expire, and I just wanted to quickly
confirm your details so we could renew…”

Me :   “I'd rather not renew. Please remove me from the subscription list.”

Telemarkechick :   “May I ask why?”

Me :   “Well, because I no longer even bother to look at
those magazines. Weeklies are irrelevant when I can get the same
content online without cluttering up my office with paper.”

Telemarkechick (rustling through script for appropriate response):   “I understand you're busy, Mr. Gallagher, but the publishers of these magazines only offer free subscriptions to a select….”

Me :   “I understand how controlled-circulation
publishing works.  I'm sure they can find someone else to lie
about their credentials to appease their advertisers' desire for a
qualified circ base.”

Telemarkechick (puzzled) :   “Is there someone else I can talk to there? Someone in IT?”

Me :   “Sorry, lady, I'm it.  Have a nice day.”

(Click of line disconnect.  Dialtone,)