My neighbor, who already had an air rifle for the sole purpose of shooting varmints, came over and plugged my trashcan tenants last night. Thanks, Jim–you're the Natty Bumpo of Baltimore.

1,2,3,4, rats just want to hop some more…

So, I went out to check on my two little friends just now, hoping to dispose of them—the rats, in a trash can half-filled with water, which I had shoved another trash can into to seal them in below the water line. And what did I find?

Two rats doing the backstroke, and a third rat–dry as a bone–watching them from a bobbing piece of trash. As soon as they saw daylight, they all started hopping again.

I was concerned that I was being cruel to animals. They seem to have thought it was a spa and invited a friend.

I'll be stopping off for an air rifle later this evening.